I'm reading The daily stoic by Ryan Holiday again. Started it in August this year so I'm following it by the day. This morning I read the chapter 'The most valuable asset' for October 2nd. The first time I read it I gave it a quick skim because I know the basics of the 'I'm the most valuable asset,' and I should up-skill, keep growing, stay curious, etc. I read it slowly again and felt like writing all the complex thoughts that came rushing in.
I also ended up talking to my personal trainer about the thoughts. I was, in fact, writing this post in my head as I was summarising my thinking to him.
Ryan Holiday's essay is simple: Invest in being wise. External things like money, status, relationships, or possessions can be taken away but wisdom can't be taken away. The real asset is untouchable.
Today it made me wonder that if wisdom is the real asset, then where does it actually show up in daily life? In work, in relationships, in the smallest moments? What do I default to when I’m tired, triggered, overlooked, bored?
At work
When someone else gets credit for your work, the reflex is to feel cheated. But needing credit is a form of dependency. If you're dependent on applaud, you're working for managing perception. Maybe just double down on your next contribution with stronger internal loops. The progress will matter more than praise.
There will be meetings that go off-track often turning into blame games or pin drop silence. Both are lazy defaults. It takes more energy to pause and ask, “What are we solving for?” but doing that resets the room, and earns long-term respect. You'll simply be seeking clarity.
Getting vague feedback? Don’t interpret it. Ask for more detail. Interpretation will lead to anxiety. Truth seeking will build improvement.
With friends, parents, and partner
Parents repeat things. Eating food, same medicine taking instruction before leaving the house, how the day went with my sister. It's probably because they’re looking for a version of connection that feels familiar. The wise thing to do is to let them be. Correcting them may feel like a win, but you lose presence. I practice patience when I let them be.
When they bring up your life decisions (like planning a kid, changing cities), the goal isn’t to “handle” them. Share things from a place that doesn’t seek permission. Say, “Here’s what I’m figuring out…” disarms defensiveness. When you stop needing to defend your adulthood, they stop seeing you as a child.
Old stories they retell (how they built the house, how I got lost at the beach, how they gave up something for me) aren’t about data they are constantly repeating. Giving them attention. You’ll miss those stories later.
Friends who don’t check in anymore (the ones you spoke to daily once, the college group) aren’t always drifting. They might just be surviving in their own lives. You can still reach out without keeping score and it's a flex of security.
When you’re tired and they want to talk (about a small win, a fight with a friend, just a long ramble), the default is to check out. Try to be intentional with presence of mind. Looking them in the eye for five focused minutes is better than pretending to listen for twenty.
Forgetting something important (an errand, something they told you last week) isn’t always neglect. Sometimes it’s mental bandwidth problem. If you react by weaponsing guilt, it tells them mistakes aren’t safe around you. Be okay with mistakes. Nothing is actually that important if you zoom out to 60 years of spending time together.
Essentially,
Change your defaults so you can let more in to become wiser by the day:
If someone else gets credit for your work, go build something better.
If a meeting derails, pause and ask: “What are we solving for?”
If feedback feels vague, ask for detail.
If you feel overlooked in a decision, stay useful.
If your parents repeat the same story again, listen fully.
If they bring up life decisions (marriage, kids, job), calmly share.
If a friend hits a milestone before you, clap loudly.
If a close friend goes silent, reach out anyway.
If someone cancels last-minute, assume life happened.
If your partner’s venting and you’re tired, focus for five minutes.
If an argument is heating up, ask: “Do I want closeness or to win?”
If you forgot something important, own it.
If your partner is shining, let them. Don’t bring your version into it.
If someone (auto rickshaws in Bengaluru) cuts you off in traffic, let them go.
If travel gets delayed, don’t whine but read, and rest.
If someone interrupts you mid-story, finish it calmly.
If your parent says something outdated, understand where it’s from.
If you missed your morning routine, reset now.
If your body feels off, listen to your body and adjust.
If your slack feels overwhelming, reply to one thing.
If your friend brags too much, maybe they just needed to be heard.
Every time I choose a better default, I feel a bit lighter. Because I’m not wasting energy on things that don’t deserve that attention. That feels like a real asset. Something that can’t be taken away. Something I actually want to grow.